Sketch@Aug 2021

Energy Troughs!

What a weird last month I have had. But I have lived through worse. So, I somehow have the confidence that I will survive this as well. The struggle to live, however wretched your life is, almost always wins. But what about the quality of life? What about it, haan-people would ask. Is it not enough that you are blessed with food, shelter, a family and a job? For some, that would suffice. For most others including me, it does not. Does that mean I am an unsatisfied, ungrateful individual? Of course not. Human existence dwells around unsatisfaction. After all, progress is a result of this. Or is it? It would all depend on the perspective through which we look at this world. Personally, I am deeply depressed at this point of time. I am also very angry. But I know neither of that would help. Isn't respect and recognition something which we all crave for? Otherwise, we might as well live on a deserted island. However, the constant struggle of respectful survival is often met with resistance from your family and close ones. Its their happiness versus yours always. And how much so ever one tries to make them understand the concept of letting go, they fail to understand. Freedom and unbiased rationality is not easy to master. We all say we need it. However, when bestowed with it, we do not know how to handle these. Emotions are something which often take the forefront and rational viewpoint is not easily accepted in the realm of turbulent emotions. I currently feel I am forced to live in a mental asylum, surrounded by insane people. What they say and do does not make any sense to me. And owing to their position in my life, be it my manager at work or my better half or my mother, I feel helpless. It is either them or loneliness and struggle for financial security. And they say they care for me. In reality, in the guise of care, they seem to be blowing their own trumpet. I have a clear choice to walk away. However, like every choice, even this has consequences, which evidently aren't in my favour. However, the constant attempt to be someone who I am not, is eating me up from inside. I feel empty and low on energy. Afterall, how much can a person give, without receiving anything in return.

Shades 3

Shades 2

Shades 1

The Power of Devotion

O Krishna, the savior of all beings, I beg your forgiveness for the sins I have committed in my life. I have brought shame to you and myself. I was acting out of delusion for quite some time now. The circle of life is vicious. I was beginning to get entangled in it. I know you silently watched all my actions and it must hurt you to see your child acting out of such ignorance. I remember your words, “Free from the fetters of hope and fear, a karma-yogi engages himself with enthusiasm in the great battle against evil and grief; the evil of his own nature and the grief of his fellow men.” Forgive me for I have sinned. And look at my stupidity and selfishness that I only remember you when I am not at peace. I am thankful to you for all the mercy you have bestowed on to me. I understand that I must embrace the suffering that I encounter without getting perturbed. I should not bear any fear or hatred in my mind for anyone who has done wrong unto me-It is not they who are acting-They are just instruments, carrying out your will. And how can I ever get angry with you. I do not want anything-Just your loving grace. Bless me My Lord that I have the courage to carry out your will. In the chapter twelve of Bhagavad Gita, it is mentioned of devotional service as one of the means to rid oneself of the repeated cycles of birth and death. You have said the following. Bless me so that I can follow your lead. 1. If you cannot fix your mind upon Me without deviation, then follow the regulated principles of bhakti-yoga. In this way you shall develop a desire to attain Me. 2. If you cannot practice the regulations of bhakti-yoga, then just try to work for Me, because by doing so, you will come to the perfect stage. 3. If, however, you are unable to work in this consciousness, then try to act giving up all results of your work and try to be self-situated. 4. If, you cannot even do that, then engage yourself in the cultivation of knowledge. Better than knowledge, however, is meditation and better than meditation is renunciation of the fruits of your action, for by such renunciation, one can attain peace of mind. 5. One who is not envious but is a kind friend to all living entities, who does not think himself a proprietor, who is free from false ego and equally calm in both happiness and distress, who is always satisfied and engaged in devotional service with determination and whose mind and intelligence are in agreement with Me-he is very dear to Me. 6. A devotee who is not dependent on the ordinary course of activities, who is pure, expert, without cares, free from all pains, and who does not strive for some result, is very dear to Me. 7. One who neither grasps pleasure or grief, who neither laments nor desires, and who renounces both auspicious and inauspicious things, is very dear to Me. 8. One who is equal to friends and enemies, who is equipoised in honor and dishonor, heat and cold, happiness and distress, fame and infamy, who is always free from contamination, always silent and satisfied with everything, who does not care for any residence, who is fixed in knowledge and engaged in devotional service, is very dear to Me. 9. He, who follows this imperishable path of devotional service and who completely engages himself with faith, making Me the supreme goal, is very, very dear to Me. In my limited knowledge, I understand that devotion unto you requires complete, unadulterated surrender. I know you have already a plan for Me and I trust you for My life.

Ganesha: the destroyer of Vanity, Selfishness and Pride

Ganesha, son of Shiva and Parvati, is the Lord of success and destroyer of evils and obstacles. He is also worshipped as the God of Education, Knowledge, Wisdom and Wealth. Slowly and steadily, despite my initial resistance, I was drawn to His Grace. Most of the decisions in my life have been taken by the Lord Himself. I believe I am blessed. I must have done fair justice in fulfilling my Karma that all this Enlightenment has come upon me. However, there is still so much to be done. This thought makes me realize how small (though highly significant) I am in the larger plan that Lord has. I just need to silently adhere to His plan, staying detached. One way I have been trying to do so is by observing the larger picture (with me in it, playing my role) from a spiritually elevated position. Ramana Maharshi has said, “The highest form of Grace is Silence. The experience of Silence alone is real and perfect knowledge. A Guru’s silence is more vast and emphatic than all the sastras put together.” The Lord has been silently taking care of me. As I say this, I recollect the following wisdom from Bhagavad Gita, “Those who worship Me with devotion, meditating on My transcendental form- to them I carry what they lack and preserve what they have.” I have just read the significance of the Ganesha form, which I am putting down. Ganesha's head symbolizes the Atman or the soul, which is the ultimate supreme reality of human existence, and his human body signifies Maya or the earthly existence of human beings. The elephant head denotes wisdom and its trunk represents Om, the sound symbol of cosmic reality. In his upper right hand Ganesha holds a goad, which helps him propel mankind forward on the eternal path and remove obstacles from the way. The noose in Ganesha's left hand is a gentle implement to capture all difficulties. The broken tusk that Ganesha holds like a pen in his lower right hand is a symbol of sacrifice, which he broke for writing the Mahabharata. The rosary in his other hand suggests that the pursuit of knowledge should be continuous. The laddoo (sweet) he holds in his trunk indicates that one must discover the sweetness of the Atman. His fan-like ears convey that he is all ears to our petition. The snake that runs round his waist represents energy in all forms. And he is humble enough to ride the lowest of creatures, a mouse. Ganesha is the destroyer of vanity, selfishness and pride. He is the personification of material universe in all its various magnificent manifestations. The devotees of Ganesha rejoice and glorify Him through Ganesha Chaturthi.